Donald Hall, in his description of “Queer –the verb” writes “the broad social fear is always that the abnormal and degraded will not stay in their assigned place, that ‘secure’ social systems and identities will become unmoored…” (14). Hall uses the pronoun “their” which seems to imply that he is referring to people who will not remain within the confines of their social roles. But as readers discover with a reading of Gilman’s “The Yellow Wall Paper,” notions of work can be queered as well. Thus, it is not simply people who must stick to their social parameters; objects and ideas can be queer as well and must be kept in their own spaces. As a result, we have the creation of the man-cave, Dad’s shed or garage or basement space that acts as a drainage basin for all his stuff.
I’m not prepared to say with certainty the reasons for the existence of the man-cave. I posit that it originates out of a need for a space which harbors the things wives/girlfriends/partners do not deem appropriate when house guests are visiting. Although women often require their own space, I was shocked to discover the fan fare surrounding man-caves. There is a website (http://www.mancavesite.org/) in which men share their man-caves with others (presumably, men). But what makes man-caves so queer is how diverse they are. The definition of the man-cave, to employ Sedgwick’s words, traverses socio-economic boundaries. Brief exploration of the site shows that man-caves can be places to manifest one’s wealth; in one man-cave we find a billiards table, fine leather couches and a bar stocked with ample, high-end booze. The man-cave can be neat and organized and simply a projection of our desires. (Of course, if our partner allowed the man-cave to be in a different, more visible and open space, that would destroy the power relationship. A wife cannot admit and openly display that she lets her husband purchase”frivolous” things like a big-screen TV if she herself does not have a similar space, though she may have a burgeoning purse or shoe collection, these objects do not constitute a “space” per se and therefore are not equivalent to a man-cave.)
Other man-caves are repositories for plain-old stuff: hats, stuffed –err, taxidermied –animals (which they obviously shot when they were out hunting; never would a stuffed duck be a gag gift they have kept for too long or memory from a frat party), televisions (one is rarely enough), sports paraphernalia, and (maybe even) pictures of other women (although I suppose gay men can have man-caves in which case, the pictures would be of men) etc. They are cluttered, disorganized, full things that hold memories but questionable value. In either case, the man-cave is queer in that it transcends categorization (there is not “typical” man-cave) and crosses socio-economic borders (they can be for anyone, even middle-class serial killers from Miami). Dexter has had several caves throughout the series, all of which threaten his un-doing by exposing his identity, if they are discovered. The Bay Harbor discovery almost brings Dexter’s killing days to an end, though his bachelor pad apartment (pre-marriage) shares the role of the man-cave equally with the ocean as he conceals his blood samples (taken from every victim) inside his air conditioner. After Dexter marries Rita, he compromises and gets a shed which Rita acknowledges in a fashion that makes man-caves all the more normal.
There are no concretes with the man-cave. What is in it and what is says about our identity always vary. What man-caves have in common is their ability to threaten our security, particularly the security of marriage.
October 26, 2010 at 1:26 pm
I’m so glad you wrote about this! I actually just heard the other day (I forgot to mention it last night) that there are “mom-caves” now (though I’m pretty sure they’re a marketing ploy for women to buy more stuff, but whatever). There’s a site via HomeGoods that says a mom-cave is: A place for you to sit, a space to organize your stuff, an area to do the things you love, and a room for your girlfriends to visit. And, of course, the pictures they show are of this ridiculously PINK room that is super organized and luxurious. Kind of the antithesis of the man-cave–I thought it was pretty funny.
October 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm
A man cave is queer also because it is homosocial space, not just a place to retreat in private but a place to share with other men (either through sharing photos on the website or inviting other men over for beer, poker, etc.). As Sedgwick notes, the line between the homosocial and the homosexual is both closely policed and always shifting. Perhaps the man-cave, like the 19th century gentlemen’s club that it in some ways replicates, is place for maintaining homosocial bonds through shared activities (and shared exclusion of women).
Does anyone remember “The Little Rascals” or “Our Gang”? At one point, Spanky and Alfalfa organized their own man-cave, where they held meetings of “The He-Man’s Women Haters Club,” which as I recall, didn’t last long before the heart-stealing Darla started turning all that hateration into something else.
I have a shed in my back yard that I don’t actually use. People always ask about it. Maybe I should rent it out as a man cave (or even a mom cave) to some needy individual.
October 28, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Interesting in this regard is Martha McCaughy’s “The Caveman Mystique,” which looks at the popularity of the caveman in contemporary culture:
http://www.amazon.com/Caveman-Mystique-Pop-Darwinism-Debates-Violence/dp/0415934753/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1288290225&sr=8-1